The Proposal
by ellendarunner
Summary: Morgan and Garcia make an interesting decision, prompting a lot of unexpected "fun" in a very serious workplace. Tagged Morgan and Garcia, but focuses on all characters.
1. What Started It All

_This is tagged Morgan/Garcia and while they are a huge part of this story, it is not entirely about them. All the team members play a big role and their pairings will reveal themselves within a few chapters. Please enjoy and hit that review button ;)_

It started off as a normal post-case night for Derek Morgan, with a few adjustments due to the fact that he had been "shot with bullets." He had stretched the truth a little bit when he had told Penelope it was just a couple of bruises. Technically it was, as far as he was aware. A few of his ribs may have been cracked on impact, but he didn't want to delay the flight home so he refused x-rays, and no doctors wanted to mess with the muscled FBI agent, so they conceded. It hurt like a bitch, but he knew it would be fine.

There was paperwork to be done, and a lot of it due to the fact that the unsub was killed, but Hotch sent him home due to his injuries. He argued, wanting to discuss the new "Replicator" case with the team, but Hotch pulled the whole "I am your superior" thing and Penelope threatened to give him a few more bruises so he went home. He was supposed to be resting, but he was unsettled. There was someone copying the cases they solved, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was unnerved by being shot, even if it was in his bullet proof vest.

He heard the doorknob turn and he jumped- which was a bad move in his state. Derek couldn't help the grunt of pain that escaped from his lips.

"Derek?" called a familiar and frantic voice as the door opened "what in the hell are you doing awake?"

"If you thought I wouldn't be awake, why did you come baby girl?"

"Because I needed to make sure you were ok which you obviously are not. Go lay down."

"Penelope-

"Don't test me, Derek."

"It's just a couple of bruises, baby girl."

"If you don't lie down on that couch right now I will call your mother."

"Fine… but you don't play fair," pouted Derek as he settled down on the couch. Garcia immediately came to his side.

"How bad does it hurt?"

"Like I broke a few ribs," he deadpanned, before realizing what he had divulged and opening his mouth to backtrack, but his lovely lady friend interrupted him.

"That bitch broke your beautiful ribs? You said it was just a few bruises!"

"It is! I mean, it might be. I uhh… I kind of refused to get an x-ray to see if they were cracked or not but it's not a big deal! I am just fine, mama."

"DEREK! We are going to the emergency room right now."

"That's not necessary."

"Yes it is! I read somewhere about some guy's lung being punctured by a broken rib! You need to get this checked out, baby! Why on god's good earth would you refuse medical treatment after being shot? Your vest is only bullet _resistant_!"

"Mama-

"Don't you mama, me, Derek. Get up, but slowly, don't hurt yourself, because we are going to the hospital."

"Pen, I'm tired. I just want to sleep."

"Well you'll sure be asleep for a long time if your broken rib punctures your lung and you die," she said indignantly.

"Do I look like I'm having trouble breathing, Penelope?"

"No, but I can't trust you, you're all field agent trained and stuff."

"Pleeeease don't make me go," he pleaded, pulling out the puppy eyes, which was surprising endearing on him despite his age and stature.

"Fine. On one condition."

"And what might that be, mama?"

She took a shaky breath before staring him directly in his deep, brown eyes.

"I want you to marry me, Derek."

Morgan studied her face for a good long minute. Profiling skills be damned, he couldn't find a trace of humor in her face. But she must have been joking, right?

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, for once I'm not, Derek."

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"Penelope… what-

"Marry me. Marry me, Derek. I tried to make it work with Kevin but our weird, confusing, relationship always seemed to get in the way but I gave up him and not you. Screw being in love, because I know you're not in love with everyone right now, but that's the point. Neither of us have time for a relationship with anyone outside the BAU. We get each other Derek. We have this weird ass relationship that just works and when I heard you were shot… I know you want to have kids and we're not getting and younger. And I know you could stand living with me. It makes sense in a weird way, but we're weird. And I keep saying weird but I can't think of another word. Your mother loves me, too! So just marry me, Derek!"

"Do I really have a choice?"

"Not funny, agent."

"…Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, I'll marry you."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my god… we're engaged. I don't have a ring but I think I have a ring pop in my purse. So, when should we go to Vegas?"

"Vegas? Baby girl, I'm not a cheap date. If we're going to do this for real, I want a real wedding."

"Wait… you really want a wedding?"

"Yeah. I mean, even if the reasons for marriage aren't exactly… traditional… I think we both deserve an actual wedding. And our families and friends, too. My momma would be pretty mad if I just eloped, as much as she loves you. And I know you've always wanted a white princess dress and a bedazzled alter, and I think you should get that, even if you're not getting a prince charming."

"Oh, hot stuff, you are my prince charming. But are you sure that you're sure?"

"Yes. You're my best friend and that's a good start. And I owe my mom plenty of grandkids, and this way, at least we know they'll be no ugly divorce. Are you sure?"

"As sure as Spencer is about physics, baby boy. Now, you should get some rest."

"On it, mama. It kind of hurts to move so I think I'll just stay here. You can take my bed if you want," he said awkwardly.

"Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow, my chocolate god of a fiancé."

"You got it, girl."

And with that she kissed his cheek, which usually wasn't an awkward thing for them, but they weren't sure exactly how this engagement thing was going to work, so it was a little weird. She flashed him a smile before going to his bedroom.

"How the hell am I going to explain this to JJ," she thought, before drifting off to sleep.


	2. The Tea Party

_Thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and for following this story. It really means a lot. I apologize for not updating further. I'm enrolled in two summer classes and my "introduction to physics" class had a test that I really needed to hardcore study for. Your patience is appreciated. Also, italicized words below are Garcia's thoughts._

A few days had passed since Penelope Garcia so eloquently proposed to her best friend. She thought it would be more awkward between herself and Morgan, but so far not much changed greatly in their relationship. She figured physical intimacy (they did want kids after all) would come much more cumbersomely, but they were emotionally close enough to discuss marriage and having kids without it feeling too weird. She was happy too. She thought she wouldn't be as happy as she imagined she would be when she got engaged, but spending the rest of her life with Derek Morgan was something she had always planned on, even if it had not been through marriage.

Still, however, neither of them had managed to tell any family or friends. It's not that they were particularly embarrassed about the style of their engagement; it was just that it was hard to explain. And there was the whole the FBI frowns upon fraternizing with coworkers thing. They knew they needed to start telling people, they just didn't know how. Plus, when Derek got Penelope a ring people would want to know who gave it to her. But that would be a surprise to her even, considering her fiancé hadn't told her he'd be getting her a ring.

It was a Wednesday morning and Penelope had gotten word of a case in that was local- only an hour away from the office. It gave her comfort in the sense that her friends would be nearby, but also made her anxious. It was one thing to see horrible things on a screen and dig into the lives of sadistic people when they were far away; she could detach herself. But when the pictures of the dead children's bodies were from a little ways down the highway, it was harder to deal with emotionally. Her she turned her head to listen better as the conversation a room over took a peculiar turn.

"Hotch-

"No Morgan."

"But the kids are dying just down the road!"

"Which is why you can easily join us when you're better. If this was far away, I'd take you on the plane and have you sit at the hotel for a day or two. But since it's local, just stay here and rest. You too, JJ."

_What? I thought Morgan's ribs were all better_. _And what was wrong with JJ?_

"But I'm not running a fever like Derek is!"

_He's sick? He seemed okay earlier in the morning._

"Well then there are two separate bugs going around that Reid, Rossi, Blake and I don't need to catch. Besides, I don't want you puking on Rossi's shoes again."

"Damn straight," the aforementioned agent grumbled.

"Dave, play nice. Alright everyone lets go get in the van. And by everyone, I mean not JJ and Morgan. If you both absolutely refuse to go home, I guess you can crash Garcia's party if she allows you too."

"I could use a few friends," Penelope called, "come here my poor invalids!"

"Come on Derek, let's go play with Pen."

"Stupid Hotch," he mumbled, reluctantly taking JJ's outstretched hand and trudging into his goddess's office.

"Oh my poor babies," Garcia gushed, shocked at how pale they both looked, "both of you sit, now."

"I'm f-

"Derek, you sit down right now because we both know I'll threaten to call your mother. So do us both a favor, save some time, and sit down."

"Evil lady," he said bitterly.

"Oh baby, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're too hot for my liking today," she murmured after gently placing the back of her hand to his forehead.

"I should be on the case."

"No you shouldn't. Not like this my love. And hmm JJ you're right you aren't running a fever it must be that dreadful stomach bug that's always going around.

"I don't feel good," she pouted.

"I know Jayje, I know. Your buddy isn't feeling so hot either. Well actually, he's feeling too hot."

"I feel like I'm in Antarctica. I'm freezing."

"That's just your fever, Der. Let me see if I can find you both some medicine and blankets, and maybe a bucket for JJ because you look like you're going to hurl again sometime in the near future. I'll be right back. Don't kill each other."

"Boom," said Derek, weakly making the shape of a gun with his hands, "you're dead."

"Well shit."

And with that, Derek burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I don't know must be the fever."

"You're weird when you're sick."

"You're stupid when you're sick."

"Alright, did you two kiddies behave while I was gone?" asked Garcia as she reentered the room.

"Derek shot me."

"JJ's stupid."

"Oh lord have mercy. Anyways, I have a bucket, medicine, blankets, pillows, and a thermometer because I am just that awesome. Derek, open your mouth so I can take your temperature… 102. Buddy, you're not going anywhere anytime soon."

"Ha ha!" cheered JJ, before reaching for the bucket and starting to throw up. Derek reached out his hand and started rubbing her back.

"Well it looks like JJ's not going anywhere either. Oooh! I have an idea!"

"What?" mumbled JJ after she finished heaving.

"Lets. Have. A. Tea. Party."

"What the actual hell," deadpanned Derek.

"C'mon, it'll be fun. You're too feverish to really care and the tea will be good for your bug and JJ's tummy."

"Why not," said JJ, and Derek just shrugged his shoulders in resignation.

For about half an hour or so, they sat, drank tea, and made small talk, particularly about why Penelope had two full china tea sets to choose from. Derek and JJ complained about how Hotch was being unfair and Garcia rolled her eyes. Her friends clearly were in no state to be working and as soon as they were, they could just drive down to join the rest of the team. There was a lull in the conversation and a peaceful silence before JJ shifted in her seat and cleared her throat.

"Are you going to be sick again?" Penelope asked.

"No, I uh have something I want to tell you guys but you have to promise not to tell anyone- not that Derek will probably remember when his body temperature is back to normal.

"Fire away," Derek encouraged, too dizzy and achy and to be insulted at all.

"Well umm, I'm just going to say it. I'm not sick I'm-

"What the hell you are-

"I mean yeah, I am. I'm sick because I'm pregnant again."

There was a deafening silence. After about thirty seconds Garcia decided it was now or never.

"Derek and I are engaged."

"This isn't funny. I'm actually pregnant."

"And I'm actually engaged to Garcia," said Derek, earning a stare from JJ. She looked back and forth between her colleagues before realizing they were serious.

"What the hell? I didn't even know you guys were dating?"

"We weren't," Penelope said shyly.

"Oh my… oh my god. You know what? I don't even feel like I have that many issues anymore. You two win."

"Issues? Jayje you're married."

"Well yeah… I just mean it's stressful. One kid with this job is stressful enough."

"Derek and I are going to have babies."

"Stop ok, you're going to make me throw up again."

"Ok, we'll keep quiet if you keep quiet for us."

"Fine," grunted JJ, "what happens at the tea party stays at the tea party."

"Hells yeah."

"Shut up Morgan."


	3. Surprise!

_I'm back! So this chapter is hopefully a nice balance of sweet and funny. Please review if you feel so inclined. It's great encouragement! Thank you for reading!_

"Come on baby, lets go inside."  
"One sec, mama, I gotta just finish reading this- what? Garcia give me my phone back!"  
"No! You are sick, and sick people shouldn't be reading reports about rapists and serial killers. I'm sure if they don't catch him by the time you're better, Hotch will catch you up."  
"You're not stopping JJ from reading it," he complained.  
"Because she's pregnant, not running a fever. Inside. Now."  
"Fine. The words just look like squiggles anyway and they keep moving."  
"Bed. Now."  
"Ok ok, calm down woman."  
They went into Garcia's apartment and she immediately put Derek in bed and tucked in the covers. She felt his forehead again and frowned.  
"I think your fever went up again, my love."  
"Mmmfine," he mumbled, trying to swat her hand away but getting nowhere remotely near his intended target.  
"Stay awake for just a few more minutes. I'll be right back," she said, leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before leaving the room. He was hardly in his normal state of mine, but she could see the corners of Derek's mouth twitch upward into a half smile.  
Penelope came back with medicine and a glass of water. She was pleasantly surprised with Derek's ability to swallow the pills and drink the water without spilling any of it.  
"Can I go to sleep now?"  
"Of course. Feel better, Derek."  
"Thanks baby girl."  
She felt her phone start to vibrate in her pocket so she quietly left the room, as not to disturb her best friend and eventual husband.  
"Penelope Garcia," she answered, acting professional because the caller ID said Aaron Hotchner and she had no kind of idea what mood he was in.  
"Sorry, I know it's late but can you find Richard Skinner's address for us?"  
"Sure thing," she said, opening up her laptop, searching his name and narrowing by the specifics Hotch proceeded to list for her. She gave him the address and asked, "do you think he's our guy?"  
"It's a shot in the dark, but we're fairly sure he at least knows something."  
"I'll be up for a while. Let me know if you need anything else."  
"Thanks Garcia. How are JJ and Derek?"  
"We'll Derek's in my bed-  
"Fraternization with colleagues is not allowed in the FBI."  
"No! Not like that I-  
"I'm kidding."  
"Are you being held at gunpoint? Should I phone emergency services? You never make jokes. Who are you and what have you done with the real Aaron Hotchner."  
"And that is precisely why I have little to no humor. Besides in your bed, how is Morgan?"  
"Pretty sick, but alive. I'm trying to keep him from getting dehydrated. He's not sick to his stomach but he's not hungry so he's not really eating either. JJ threw up again after you all left but she's feeling better now."  
"Good to know. Whenever he's awake tell him to eat something, supervisor's orders."  
"You are a good man, Aaron Hotche  
"I know. Have a good night Penelope."  
"You too sir."  
Hanging up the phone, she sat down on the couch and sighed. It had been a long day. Not particularly a bad one, just a long one. It was nice to have JJ and Derek to keep her company, she wished they weren't sick. Well, JJ being pregnant was pretty exciting for her, but the mama-to-be (again) didn't seem as excited. She guessed it was a lot to wrap her head around. Hotch and her both struggled balancing their jobs with one child and a significant other, so she could see how the prospect of having another child was daunted. Still, Penelope was overjoyed to have a second godchild. (She knew it was going to be her again. JJ didn't know Blake well enough and Emily moved to another continent.) Laughing, she wondered if JJ would make Morgan the godfather this time, creating a competition between Reid and Derek over which kid, Henry or baby #2, was more awesome. Derek and Spencer sure did love each other fiercely, but they also loved to get on each other's nerves. Speak of the devil, she thought as her phone vibrated again with an incoming call from Dr. Spencer Reid.  
"Hello Dr," she said sarcastically, still amused and annoyed at the fact that he insisted his name in her phone contain his title as a doctor.  
"Hey Garcia. I was just calling to-  
"Your wish is my command baby."  
"You do know I'm not Morgan, right?"  
"Of course. He's already in my bed but he's asleep and what he doesn't know won't hurt him," she purred, trying to contain the laughter that was threatening to boil over into her voice. She knew that anything with sexual undertones made Reid uncomfortable, and she was enjoying it right now. What could she say, time with Morgan instilled a love for friendly and loving terrorization of the young genius.  
"Stop. Please just stop. I beg of you."  
"I love it when you beg for it."  
"God damn it Penelope! I'll just call you back a little later when you've... calmed down a little bit."  
"Fine, fine. Good girl Garcia is back. What do you need, kid genius?"  
"First of all, I'm not a kid. Second of all, I don't have any searches I was just wondering how JJ was... And uhh how Derek was too. We could really use them on this case and Hotch said they were fine but-  
"Aww you actually care about your colleagues! Even Morgan!"  
"I'm just going to hang up now..."  
"They'll both be fine. Probably JJ will be work ready before Derek. Her bug seems to be getting better. Der stick has a pretty high fever that hasn't broken yet, but he'll live. And you my friend, are adorable."  
"I was asking purely from a work related standpoint."  
"I'm not a profiler, but I'm not stupid either, honey."  
"Alright this is getting weird. Bye Garcia."  
"Bye Sugar."  
"Don't call me that."  
"All's fair in love and war, white chocolate."  
"No. Just... No. I'm going to go get counseling," and without, there was a click on the end of the line and Reid was gone. Penelope burst our into giggles, trying not to be too loud and wake up Derek. Speaking of Derek, she should go check on him. She quietly tiptoed into the bedroom.  
She smiled at what she saw. Her best friend was fast asleep, looking a little less pale than usual. He was on his side and wearing a tank top, so one of his arms was sticking out from the blanket. Damn, she thought, look at those muscles. Sexy even when he's sick, I've got it made.  
His phone, which was on the nightstand, started ringing, and she quickly picked up and left the room to avoid waking him up.  
"Hello?" she asked. The number wasn't in Derek's contact book, so she didn't know who was calling.  
"Hi this is the jeweler's, can I speak to Mr. Morgan?" The jeweler's she thought? It wasn't anyone's birthday any soon.  
"This is his sister," she lied, wanting to eavesdrop, "But I can take a message for him."  
"Alright, just tell him that the engagement ring he ordered is in. He has very good taste, that Penelope woman he was talking about is a very lucky woman."  
"I'll let him know," she said willing her voice not to shake.  
"Ok great, bye."  
Dumbstruck, she walked back into the bedroom, tears running down her face. She put the phone back down on the nightstand. The noise happened to wake Derek.  
"What time is it. Why am I here? Wait... Baby Girl are you crying? What's wrong."  
"I love you so much," she sobbed, flinging her arms around the man in her bed.  
"What in the actual hell..."


	4. Taking Flight

_Thank you to everyone for you interest and feedback thus far. Sorry for a little bit of a delay. As I mentioned in a previous author's note I am taking two online classes this summer so I can meet the perquisites for a course that I'm taking this fall semester. I got to say- I thought a lot of lecture classes were boring, but it's worse reading everything online. At least it's cheaper and condensed, but still the same amount of credits! Anyways, thank you for your patience. As much as I enjoy writing fanfiction, I have to get that degree!_

The case in Virginia was closed two days after it began. At the scene of the crime of the second victim, Reid noticed (of course no one else did) a book on a shelf that seemed out of place. Inside was a thoroughly disturbing message from the killer, but it also was laden with fingerprints. The killer had a few minor previous run-ins with law enforcement, so his fingerprints were easy to identify. And boom, case closed and the unsub caught right before he could claim a fourth victim. JJ was able to join the team on day two, but Morgan still wasn't well enough, which pissed him off. It's not like he wanted the case to go on longer and more victims to die, but he would have loved to play a hand in locking this guy up. Child cases always were emotional for the team, but this one was literally close to home.

"If it makes you feel any better I'll lock my door and then let you kick it open," offered Garcia.

"What? How would that help?"

"Well isn't that why you're on the team?"

"…Garcia-

"I'm kidding, hot stuff. Now let's head into work."

The past two days, Morgan had stayed over at Garcia's apartment while he was getting better. Nothing sexual happened of course, because he was sick, but they did end up sharing a bed the second night after Derek woke up with a nightmare. After a day off Hotch gave the team, Derek was good as new and woke up early to make breakfast for Penelope as a way to say thank you for the care she had given him, when he had gotten a call from JJ to come into work. Apparently there was another child murderer parading around, except this time, it was in Montana. Of course, when Derek had passed the news on to Penelope she was in disbelief. "But nothing _ever_ happens in Montana!" He just chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"Hey guys, Hotch wants us all at the round table," JJ called when the whole team had arrived at the BAU.

"Why can't he just call it the table we're not freaking knights," grumbled Rossi.

"Long night, Rossi?"

"Try being divorced three times, Derek, then we'll talk."

"I don't plan on trying that, Dave."

"Well, first you'd have to be married."

"That is a work in progress."

"Yeah right," the older man grumbled as they sat down at the table.

"Good morning, everyone," said Hotch.

"It's always a good morning at the BAU," said Garcia enthusiastically.

"Don't make me order another drug test for you. Anyways, three victims have been discovered, each one exactly a week apart. The third victim was found this morning, meaning we have up to a week to find the killer to save the fourth victim, depending on at which point the unsub actually kills. He kills his victims very strangely, stabbing them repeatedly in the upper arms and the hips. The victims so far are ages 4-8, and are found on benches at bus stops-

"Wait, and no one has seen the killer just placing a dead little girl or boy at a bus stop?"

"Hard to believe," continued Hotch, "but Montana is very sparsely populated. If the unsub has the patience to wait a while for an opportune moment, he'll find one that day."

"But where is he hiding and watching? It still doesn't add up."

"That's what we'll have to figure out. No one has reported any suspicious loitering or vehicles around the three bus stops where bodies have been dumped. We'll have to go observe the areas themselves and see what they have in common that is making all of this possible."

"Don't they have security cameras?"

"Blake, Hotch said we were talking about _Montana_," Morgan answered.

"Morgan, it's Montana, not a third world country. Yes they have security cameras, but not at these bus stops. Hardly anyone ever passes through. Wheels up in thirty."

Garcia was the first to leave the room, hurriedly running back to her office to do her technical magic on the little details they had and see if she could come up with any possible connections between the victims. They were only children, so they were most likely chosen solely by their age, but she wanted to be sure.

The rest of the team, minus Hotch, who went back to his office, stayed seated at the table, discussing the weirdness of the case. No matter how deserted Montana may or may not be, the killer had to be smart to get away with how he dumped the bodies. And seven days was a long time to keep a victim. Did he kill them on the last day and torture them for six? No signs of obvious torture had yet been identified. Did he kill them on the first day? There were also no apparent signs of post mortem ritual on the bodies. It was definitely a very strange case. Sure, they had been on weirder cases, no serial killer is exactly normal, but now matter how well the compartmentalized, the shock factor was always there, even if faintly.

Soon enough, they were all on the jet as it took flight. The team fell asleep fairly quickly, save for Morgan. He was sick during the case and wasn't as exposed, but he knew he cases with children often robbed profilers of sleep for the next few nights. He observed his colleagues. Hotch was for once knocked out, and Morgan took out his phone and took a picture to send to Garcia, with a note begging her not to show anyone so he could keep his job. Rossi actually looked dead, and Morgan was about to walk over and check for a pulse when he noticed the steady up and down of the man's chest, signaling that he was breathing. Reid was fidgeting in his sleep, probably profiling the unsub in unconsciousness. Blake looked pretty comfortable, but JJ, who was across from her, looked restless, and Derek noticed she had woken up.

"You alright, Jen?"

"Baby apparently doesn't like flying," she said, after checking to make sure everyone else was asleep.

"You think you're gonna throw up?" he asked concernedly.

"No," she said firmly, before groaning and rushing into the bathroom.

Sighing, Morgan followed and went into the bathroom before she could lock the door, figuring it was the right thing to do. He rubbed her back and pulled her hair out of her face.

"It wasn't this bad with Henry," she complained after she was done throwing up.

"I'm sorry JJ. Wish I could be of more help."

"You did keep my hair out of the way, which by the way, is in… a braid? Derek Morgan, how in the world do you know how to braid hair?"

"I have two sisters," he said grimly, "Des was having a sleepover with a couple of friends and they were doing each other's hair. One of the girls was really pretty and asked me if I wanted to learn, and I accepted, hoping to get a date junior prom."

"Like you would have _ever_ had a problem getting a date to anything."

"In high school I was pretty focused on uhh… football. Not that much time for girls."

"Oh," said JJ quietly, "but you did a really good job. I think I'll keep it in. Now what's this getting an engagement ring thing Pen texted me about a few days ago?"

"Yeah, I got her a ring. She thinks I haven't picked it up yet, but I have. I just don't know how to give it to her. I was debating doing a kind of romantic proposal, even though it would be kind of weird. She's always wanted a romantic proposal. I can tell because whenever we watch a movie she always cries when two people get engaged. But then again, she did already propose to me…"

"Yes yes yes!" shrieked JJ before realizing the others were asleep and lowering her voice, "make it super romantic!"

"Ok, ok, calm down sweetheart. Don't want to get that baby of yours super excited."

JJ bit her lip, seeming to be debating something before saying that she needed to tell Derek something.

"What is it, JJ?"

"What the _hell_ is going on in there?" bellowed the voice of Dave Rossi "I here Jayje screaming 'yes yes yes' from the bathroom and notice not only is she missing, but Derek is in there too. Please tell me you two aren't seriously hooking up in there?!"

Deciding to bite the bullet for one of his best friends, Derek opened the door and said with a straight face, "JJ didn't believe me when I said I could braid hair so I told her I would show her. But uhh, I didn't want to do it outside when you guys might wake up and see. I'm really embarrassed that I know how to braid."

Dave's eyes went back in forth from JJ to Derek. As ridiculous as what Derek had just said, his story did seem to check out. JJ's hair was neatly and impressively braided, which definitely was not considered sex hair, and both of their clothes seemed intact.

He solemnly turned to Derek with a stone hard glare and said only, "Derek, you are fruity as hell," before turning away and walking calmly back to his seat.

"What's going on?" asked Hotch, who had apparently woken up.

"Derek can braid," said JJ eagerly.

"Remind me to have _all_ of you drug tested."


End file.
